It’s disheartening when you don’t get a job you really wanted. The news can be even harder to take if you’ve been looking for a job for a long time and have received numerous rejections. Most people will tell you to “accept it and move on”—which is the right thing to do—but that is easier said than done.
Here are five tips to help you deal with this disappointment:
1. Share your disappointment.
The first step in getting over job rejection is to share your disappointment, frustration, or anger with someone you feel confident sharing your emotions with.
You may also want to head out for a run or go to the gym. Even though you may not feel like doing so, physical exercise is one of the best ways to get rid of your frustrations.
You should also remember that the odds of getting any one job are low. Competition for jobs is tough and most openings have many talented people applying. Unfortunately, only one person gets the job.
2. Ask for feedback.
If you can, try to obtain constructive feedback from the interviewer or recruiter. For example, in response to a candidate asking, I told her that she might consider not relying on her notes too much during the interview as she came across as scripted and not spontaneous. She appreciated that feedback and said she would adapt in future interviews.
I suggested to another candidate that he give fewer examples from his volunteer work and more from his paid work experience. He understood how this could improve his job interview performance in the future.
3. Do an (honest) self-analysis.
Often an employer will not give feedback but that shouldn’t stop you from doing a self-analysis to determine if there is anything about your answers, dress, impression, or questions that you could have done differently.
Also, don’t eliminate the possibility that you might have done everything perfectly. You might have performed to the best of your ability, demonstrated all your competencies and skills, and made a favourable impression. There was nothing more you could have done. It was just that there was a better qualified candidate who got the job.
4. Don’t react negatively.
When someone does provide feedback, even if you disagree, always accept the information with an open mind and positive attitude. Thank the person for providing it and never react angrily or start to argue. It will come across as immature and unprofessional and almost certainly burn any bridges with that employer.
Here is an example of a nice email I received from a candidate after advising her she was not getting the job.
I really appreciate your call and the feedback you provided me. While I was obviously disappointed that I was not selected, I am confident they have chosen the right candidate for the job. Please do keep my resume on file in case you find a good match for me in the future. It was a pleasure meeting you.
5. Maintain a relationship with the interviewer.
If you make a positive impression on the interviewer—even if you didn’t get the job—they might be able to help you with your job search. Connect with them on LinkedIn and follow them on Twitter. And stay in touch with them via the occasional email. Who knows? Maybe the person they hired will not work out or perhaps another opening will arise.
One last thing.
Don’t carry interview baggage with you. It will simply paralyze you and prevent you from being your best in future interviews. Instead, keep your momentum going by approaching new opportunities with enthusiasm and rigour. I believe there is the right job out there for everybody. Just keep at it until you find the right one for you.