Gerald Walsh - An Atlantic Canada Leader in Executive Search, Career Transition, Executive Coaching and Human Resources

Are Your Behaviours in Line With Your Values?

After speaking with over 8,000 individuals throughout my executive search and coaching career, I've come to the conclusion that the greatest cause of career unhappiness is when people are forced to behave at work in ways that are in conflict with their values.

Interestingly, a large number of these same people misdiagnose the cause of their own unhappiness. They figure that more money, flexible work hours, a job closer to home, or even a new boss, will cure their unhappiness. Yet when these changes do occur, more often than not, the unhappiness remains.

Why does this misdiagnosis occur? I believe it's because the process of identifying, clarifying, and fully understanding your own values can be one of the most difficult personal tasks you'll undertake. Because this is so difficult, we tend to look for solutions that appear easier to achieve. For the most part, people do not consider their own values - what they truly believe in and want from life - when making major career or work decisions. It's embarrassing to admit, but the reality is that we feel too busy to search for the real meaning of life. Few people have the time or energy to pursue the "purpose of life." What I have found, then, is that most people just allow life to happen to them.

Let me give you a couple of examples. A client, David, approached me several months ago to discuss a career dilemma he was facing. David is a 45-year old, senior manager with a major financial services company. He has impressive credentials, a solid record of accomplishments, and an above-average compensation, which allows him to enjoy the finer things in life. He also has a very promising future with his company. The problem is: he's beginning to resent his work and his employer and is not sure he wants to be doing this job for the balance of his career.

David's job, he tells me, has evolved into two categories: dealing with staff issues (problems, he calls them) and head office reporting, which has become highly politicized in his opinion. The enjoyment, he once felt, has gone from his job. Personally, he'd rather be spending more time "in the field" with his customers - the lifeblood of the business, he states.

The demands of his work have also had a big impact on David's personal life. Personally, he'd rather be more spending time with his teenage son, fishing and camping which they both love, and focusing on a more regular exercise routine. Instead, he's toiling away at the office for 12 to 14 hours a day, a pace he realizes must be done occasionally, but not all the time. The problem is there is no end in sight. This work schedule is unlikely to abate in the future.

So while David has all the appearances of success - a good income, fancy title, comfortable work surroundings and prestigious employer - deep down, he is unhappy. And the source of that unhappiness is the gap between his behaviours and his values. None of the things he values most - balance in life, nature, a regular exercise program, and time with family - are being met in his life, due to his work.

Since we've met, and through coaching, I have encouraged David to consider self-employment in his own field. While there are clear risks involved, mainly financial ones, I believe this option is attainable, which should allow him to live closer to his true values. As I write this, David is reviewing this option including finding ways to mitigate the financial risk.

I believe we have much more control over our lives than we think. Although many people feel trapped by their circumstances and resigned to the fact that 'this is the way it will be,' I'm convinced we are all capable of effecting positive change in our lives.

Let me give you an example of another client, Chris, who took control of his own career selection process. A few years ago, I met Chris, then a 32-year old recent MBA graduate. Originally from Montreal, Chris had about five years' sales and marketing experience with a mid-sized communications agency. Chris also possessed a true passion for the outdoors. A few years earlier, he had successfully completed an outdoor leadership training program and since then had led several wilderness adventure excursions in the Canadian Rockies and throughout the interior of British Columbia.

Chris elected to leave Montreal to complete his MBA studies and chose a well-known program in a smaller city. He enjoyed his two years away from Montreal very much, particularly since it afforded him the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors regularly. But as Chris graduated, he felt he "had to get on with his life."

Like most MBA graduates, Chris felt the pull toward a career with a large corporation. Like David previously, big jobs and attractive compensation, seemed to be the primary motivators for most MBA graduates. Plus, the course of studies in MBA programs encouraged students in that direction. Very little time and course content is directed toward small business and not-for-profit opportunities and issues.

As Chris graduated and many of the classmates, with whom he had shared great times over the previous two years, moved away to launch their careers, Chris found himself in a dilemma. Intuitively, he did not feel that working in a large corporate environment was the right thing for him. To quote him, "the thought of sitting in a cubicle in a tall building somewhere pushing paper, does not turn me on."

He had also grown to like the smaller city he was now living in. Two of his sisters and their families had relocated there and it was starting to feel like home although his best friends all still lived in Montreal.

As Chris reflected on his career options, it struck him that one variable that he was using over and over, when assessing each option, was, "What would my friends and family think?" For example, he worried that if he joined a not-for-profit organization, that his fellow classmates would question his judgment. He worried that if he took a job that didn't pay him well, regardless of how enjoyable the job might be for him, that his parents would be disappointed. He worried that if he remained in the small city, where he was now living, that his friends in Montreal might suggest his MBA was a waste.

Mind you, not one of his family, friends or classmates had even remotely suggested any of these things. Yet Chris was constantly assessing his career options through the framework of what others would think. He was deciding his future, not based on his own values and wishes, but from the lenses of others close to him.

Thankfully, after several months of reflection, Chris came to the realization that he must make his career decisions based on what he was passionate about - what he truly valued - not what others think. He could not, and would not, live his life based on the expectations of others. Like many others before him, he could have chosen a career path that pleased his parents. He could have taken a corporate job like many of his friends and classmates. Or, he might even have ended up in a job simply because it was a "job" - one that paid the bills.

Chris has since landed in a very rewarding job: working in a marketing capacity for a company that is providing services to the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. He is doing exciting work in a location and physical environment that he loves, and he has a very promising future ahead of him.

My experience is that very few of us pay much attention to the notion of "values" in our lives. The problem with not identifying these values is that when faced with a major decision in life, like a career choice, we have no benchmarks against which to evaluate the decision. Consequently, we run the risk of doing things "by accident." In the absence of a sense of purpose, we effectively let others make our decisions and tell us what things mean.

As Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, authors of The Power of Full Engagement write, "The issue is not so much whether your life is providing you with a sense of meaning. The issue is whether you are actively using life as a vehicle through which to express your deepest values."

Exercise

In the following PDF document, you will find a simple exercise to get you thinking about those values you hold deeply, and how your behaviour is influenced by those values. After working through steps 1 and 2, you will be able to prepare your own personal vision statement, which hopefully will serve as a valuable guide on how to live your life.

Good luck with the exercise.

Click here for the Exercise: Developing Your Own Personal Vision (PDF document).

Gerald Walsh, CMA, is the President and Founder of Gerald Walsh Associates Inc., an executive search, career transition and executive coaching firm.

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