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The Perils of PassionIn this era of apathy in the workplace, is it possible that having too much passion can be a problem? I would have thought not - until I met Patricia, a coaching client of mine. Patricia is a senior manager and a long-term employee of an economic development organization. As part of her commitment to professional development and continuous learning, she asked me to coach her for a period of six months. During one of our sessions, Pat said something that shocked me. She claimed that one of her major personal flaws was that she was often "too passionate" about things. Now, the way I see it, apathy appears to be the norm in many workplaces unfortunately. Just think of how difficult it is to find a sales clerk who really cares. Or how unlikely it seems that a technical support person might be truly concerned about the problem with your PDA. So, how is it possible that being "too passionate" is a problem? Sensing my surprise, Pat went on to explain to me that her passion about certain subjects was actually causing her to become close-minded to other points of view. While Pat generally had a balanced view on most matters, she - like most of us - had a few 'hot buttons.' One of Pat's hot buttons concerns government interference with individual freedoms. Take retail store hours, for example. Because she felt so strongly that government should not interfere with freedom of choice by regulating hours of operation, she found herself in passionate debates with her work colleagues and friends. Whether it was over coffee, in staff meetings, or in social settings on the weekend, whenever the issue arose, Pat would launch into almost fanatical dialogue, holding fervently to the belief that stores should be free to set their own hours. She feels that the "market" not government should determine when the stores would be open or closed. If someone else raised a counter argument, no matter how valid, Pat immediately dismissed it. No perspective, other than her own, seemed to matter. Increasingly - and not surprisingly - Pat found herself at odds with those around her. She noticed her friends and co-workers becoming more and more annoyed with her. In fact, some even started to steer clear of her, or at least avoiding certain topics when she was around. Others, who were more forthcoming, respectfully suggested to Pat that she was being narrow-minded, a thought Pat found scary. She had always considered herself liberal and forward-thinking. Pat went on to explain that over a period of several months she began to reflect more and more on these comments and actions. Gradually she came to the realization that her passion about certain subjects meant that she had become virtually intolerant of other points of view. Her strongly held views were causing her to be close-minded to other ideas. Being an intelligent, self-aware woman, Pat knew she had to rethink her approach or her problems would become much larger. Which is why she raised it in our coaching session - what should she do? The ability to be open to new ideas, otherwise known as flexibility, is an indispensable leadership quality for all successful managers. In The EQ Edge, an insightful book on emotional intelligence, authors Steven Stein and Howard Book state "flexible people … are able to change their minds when evidence suggests they are mistaken and (they) are open to different ideas, orientations and ways of doing things." In my view, ineffective managers are those ones who refuse to, or are unable to, alter their position on a matter, even if conditions change or if valid arguments to the contrary are presented. The central question is: can flexibility be learned? While everyone likes to think they are open, broad-minded, and forward thinking, the reality is that most people have a difficult time accepting views of others that differ from their own. In many ways, this is predictable: we all tend to look at the world through our own lenses. Our view of the world is the product of our life experiences, age, gender, education and upbringing. The problem with this tendency is that viewing the world from a single lens (our own) makes for very narrow thinking, which is what happened to Pat. You might wish to try this interesting and fun exercise, that I often use with clients, to help you examine your beliefs from other perspectives. This exercise can be completed among your co-workers in the workplace or simply sitting around the dinner table with family or friends. Exercise:Step 1: First, start by selecting a topic. While any topic will do, typically a controversial one works best for this exercise. For example, you might choose abortion, politicians, the war in Iraq, work ethic of employees, religion, sexuality, economics, marriage, medicine, sports, the meaning of life, or education. The topic I select is: _____________________________________________________ Step 2:Next, write down at least three opinions or beliefs you hold about the topic you chose. Lets say you selected "work ethic of employees." Three beliefs you hold might be: 1) employees waste a lot of time at work; 2) employees will rarely work overtime unless requested; 3) employees need close supervision. The next step is to identify exactly how you developed these opinions and beliefs. This can be challenging as you may be unaware of the sources you use to form opinions and beliefs. Your list might include parents, teachers, media, books, television, early employers, or your own experiences. The sources of my opinions and beliefs are: This is the most valuable step in the exercise. You are going to examine these beliefs from perspectives other than your own. In doing so, you might be making arguments against your original beliefs. For example, what might your opinion be if you:
Were 20 years younger? Select a perspective: ________________________________________________________ My opinion now is: As uncomfortable as it might be, always consider with an open mind the perspectives of others, be they employees, customers, shareholders, suppliers, family or friends. Perspectives will differ from person to person. And even though you might disagree, there is great value in listening to, understanding, and validating those opinions. All perspectives have validity and respecting them will strengthen your relationships with those people. Gerald Walsh, CMA, is the President and Founder of Gerald Walsh Associates Inc., an executive search, career transition and executive coaching firm. << Articles
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