Gerald Walsh - An Atlantic Canada Leader in Executive Search, Career Transition, Executive Coaching and Human Resources

Learning From Others: It's No Big Secret

The secrets to success aren't really secrets at all. They're generally close by, easy to find, and simple to understand.

Take learning for example. Learning occurs in many ways - from books, videos, lectures, training programs and workshops. But without a doubt, the simplest way to learn is from other people. That is, observing other people, identifying those qualities you admire, and then, emulating those behaviours.

I can recall many years ago, perhaps as far back as my teen years, admiring the interpersonal qualities of a distinguished and respected lawyer, who lived in my neighbourhood and who was about 25 years' my senior. I knew this man, not as a lawyer (although I did know there was a law firm in town with his name in the masthead) but as a neighbour, a community person and a friend. What struck me most about this man was how at ease he was when speaking with everyone. It didn't matter if the other person was a fellow lawyer, businessperson, expectant mother, mailman, or someone like me - a young kid in the neighbourhood - he was the same with each of them. His smile was sincere. He listened intently. And most important he showed genuine interest in everyone he met. I remember that he called almost everyone by name and if for some reason he didn't know a person's name, he just asked and then never forgot it. I clearly remember how good I felt being around him and to this day, that man serves as an important role model for me in my personal and professional life.

In an ideal world, your role models are close to home. But that doesn't have to be the case. You don't have to know someone personally to include them among your role models. A political leader, a community figure, or a well-known media personality could serve effectively as a role model. Likewise, you don't have to admire all behaviours of an individual to learn from them. You can select certain ones that work for you.

For example, I admire Lance Armstrong for his perseverance as he won the Tour de France - cycling's most prestigious race - seven consecutive times after having survived testicular cancer. I admire Nelson Mandela for the courage he displayed while being imprisoned for 27 years for his anti-apartheid stance, who upon his release, led the transition to a multi-racial democracy in South Africa, where he later became President. I admire Rudy Giuliani for the visible leadership he displayed in the aftermath of 9/11. I admire Al Gore for his absolute commitment to a single cause - the environment. (I admire David Suzuki for the same reason.) I admire Bill Clinton for the charisma and emotion he reveals in his speeches that allow him to bond with his audience so well. And I admire Oprah Winfrey for her ability to connect with and acknowledge ordinary people who have done extraordinary things.

How do you identify role models? How can you learn from them? What behaviours should you be trying to develop through your role models? Here's a simple exercise that will help:

1. Think of someone whom you admire.
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2. What qualities in this person do you admire? (Is it their interpersonal skills? Their discipline? Their courage? Is it their warmth? Is it the way they lead others?)
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3. What is it that they do specifically that you find admirable (Is it their manner and demeanour? Is it their smile, eyes or other facial expressions? Is it their language and way they say things?)
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4. Here's where you have to be brutally honest. Do you demonstrate the qualities that you admire in others? How would you rate your own skills in this area?
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5. And, finally, what can I do to strengthen my skills in this area? How can I better demonstrate to others the qualities that I embody and value?
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Similarly, you can learn from the mistakes and /or paltry qualities of others. I sometimes refer to these people as "anti-role models." That is, they display behaviours you want to avoid. Perhaps there was a professor who droned on endlessly in class, a work colleague who never listened, or a boss who was fond of humiliating his staff in front of others. You can be grateful toward those people who have demonstrated exactly what not to do. It is also an efficient way to learn.

Despite the great value in having role models, very few people have thought of the concept. When I coach individuals one-on-one, speak to business students, or conduct leadership workshops, I ask how many people have role models that influence their behaviour and rarely does anyone raise their hand. This puzzles me. Perhaps some people think that seeking guidance or direction from others is a sign of weakness. Perhaps they fear that their managers or peers will not respect them as much. Perhaps they think there are no good role models out there. Who knows? I suspect it's that most people have just not taken the time to reflect on who they admire, why they admire them, and how this can help develop the qualities these people demonstrate.

To me, seeking opinions and guidance from others on important aspects of your work and your life is a sign of real self-confidence, not weakness. It's no big secret. It is one of the most valuable learning strategies an emerging leader can have in his or her toolbox.

Gerald Walsh, CMA, is the President and Founder of Gerald Walsh Associates Inc., an executive search, career transition and executive coaching firm.

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